It appears improper to rank the horniest episodes of Xena: Warrior Princess. The reveal came to be horny and died horny. It dragged pre-teens screaming and kicking through puberty. It provided all of us forms of kinks involving bondage, fabric, and furious females screaming “Gabrielle! ” It absolutely was additionally a touchstone show for queer women that saw one thing far beyond platonic friendliness in most of Xena and Gabrielle’s shared bathrooms.
Besides Red Shoe Diaries there have been few programs in the ‘90s as unabashedly intimate as Xena. Many episodes are hornier than the others, and frequently ( not constantly) the horniest episodes had been the very best episodes too. Since April 16, Syfy happens to be airing each and every bout of the beloved dream show and you’ll end up attempting to tune right into a show that we, without pity, will state harbours probably the most epic love tales place to your display.
As Jill rejected my original intend to just record each and every bout of Xena (it truly is that horny) we have actually put together a summary of the absolute most exceptionally horniest episodes. Unless otherwise noted they are additionally the best episodes of Xena while the many well well worth your time and effort if you opt to be described as a monster and just occasionally tune in to the marathon.
Sins for the last (Episode 1) The pilot that starts with Xena simply stripping down seriously to her underwear and beating up intercourse slavers. Additionally she and Gabrielle meet that is first Gabrielle is into her.
Chariots of War (Episode 2) usually the one where Xena is shot with an arrow and it is uncomfortably breathy as being a solitary dad eliminates it after which they think about banging.
The Reckoning (Episode 6) the main one where Ares attempts to get a grip on Xena and she somehow ultimately ends up being whipped in sluggish movement inside her underwear.
Prometheus (Episode 8) the only where most people are basically right and Xena and Hercules are apparently in love and attempt to conserve Prometheus while Gabrielle informs a dying Iolus he’s her soulmate plus they fortunately never ever reference these romances once more.
Hooves & Harlots (Episode 10) Amazons.
Mortal Beloved (Episode 16) the only where Xena’s ex, Marcus, dies and she travels towards the underworld to save lots of him and you will find CGI monsters and then make outs.
The Greater Good (Episode 21) the only where Xena generally seems to perish and Gabrielle kisses her corpse and dresses as her to prevent a warlord with seltzer water.
Callisto (Episode 22) the main one where Xena’s nemesis that is best, Callisto, kidnaps Gabrielle and also rocks an extremely S&M costume and Xena tells Gabrielle concerning the time she unintentionally murdered Callisto’s town that will be distinctly unhorny, then again Gabrielle hugs and conveniences her which can be pretty horny.
Will there be a health care provider inside your home? (Episode 24) usually the one where Xena provides a centaur infant and Gabrielle dies up for grabs so Xena has got to re-enact the inhale scene through the Abyss and its own the very first time she’s ever actually shown so just how deeply her love for Gabrielle is—so even though it is perhaps not physically horny, it is very emotionally horny.
Girls simply Wanna have a great time (Episode 4) the only where Gabrielle and Xena become super lesbian vampires with mid-‘90s sexy vampire looks, which means that lots of damp locks, pale foundation, and leather-based and in addition Gabrielle sucks on Xena’s throat.
Return of Callisto (Episode 5) usually the one where Gabrielle gets hitched and informs her new spouse she’s “never been with a guy before” as well as kisses Xena, then again Callisto returns and Xena must concern whether it’s ethical to murder Callisto despite producing Callisto.
Warrior… Princess… Tramp (Episode 6) usually the one where Xena and her doppelganger, Princess Diana (unrelated), suffer from a brand new dimmer doppelganger that is additionally a tremendously horny prostitute being manipulated by criminals to simply just simply just take Diana’s throne.
Intimate Stranger (Episode 7) the main one where Callisto invades Xena’s hopes and hopes and hopes and hopes and dreams after which they body switch and…sorry but all fantasy invasions are inherently horny.
Ten Little Warlords (Episode 8) usually the one where Xena, nevertheless in Callisto’s body, needs to cope with another seduction effort by Ares, and Gabrielle’s confusion on the girl she really really loves being within the body of her many enemy that is hated.
The Xena Scrolls (Episode 10) usually the one set when you look at the 1940s whenever Gabrielle’s hard-drinking, Indiana Jones-like descendent groups up with Xena’s studious belle that is southern to cease Ares from breaking away from their tomb to form teams with Hitler and destroy the whole world. Xena quickly possesses her descendent and Ares and Gabrielle’s descendent are both actually into her look.
Right right Here She Comes…Miss Amphipolis (Episode 11) Xena, Gabrielle, and a drag queen get undercover at a beauty pageant to learn that is attempting to start a war. The drag queen is played by adult movie celebrity Karen Dior.
Destiny (Episode 12) the main one where Gabrielle attempts to conserve A xena that is near-dead who too busy being in housewife sex a coma and dreaming concerning the time she banged Julius Caesar after which he crucified her.
The Quest (Episode 13) the main one where Xena is simply dead and inhabits Bruce Campbell’s human body after which makes away with Gabrielle.
Just about every day when you look at the life span (Episode 14) the main one where we come across a normal time in the life span of Xena and Gabrielle who will be a classic married couple and conspire methods to end a man’s crush on Xena while additionally bathing together.
Blind Faith (Episode 18) the main one where Gabrielle is kidnapped (again) to be offered into intimate slavery (again) and a blind xena needs to save her and risk being blind forever. But worry that is don’t first thing she views whenever she gets her sight right right right right right back is Gabrielle.
The purchase price (Episode 20) the main one where Xena is obligated to embrace her dark past to save lots of a fortress of Athenian soldiers plus it’s not necessarily horny because Gabrielle is wanting to truly save Xena’s heart, but wicked Xena might fulfil a rather certain kink I to judge for you so who am?
Missing Mariner (Episode 21) usually the one where Gabrielle is rescued by pirates and Xena leaps a distance that is truly incredible be from the ship along with her which actually is captained by Cecrops—as played by Tony Todd, that has been cursed by Poseidon to reside forever and not join their spouse within the afterlife. Additionally, there’s a horny that is old who provides Gabrielle squid.